我是不是好女儿？

一直以来都有质疑自己是不是个好女儿

尤其是上了中学之后加入辅导团

每次去参加成长营，

然后到了成长营的最后一个晚上

营长都很喜欢给大家来个“感恩之夜”

聊一聊自己的成长故事以及爸爸妈妈

然后很多人都会在这种时候

在昏暗的灯光下被气氛感染 吐露真言。

然后哭个稀里哗啦的

说的话总是：“我觉得我很对不起他们…呜…他们把我养这么大了我还让他们这么不放心…呜…”

然后虽然你可能不认识那个正在倾诉心声的营员

不过那个时候大家总是会忍不住跟着哽咽

我更不用说，每次都眼泪一把鼻涕一坨

我很多愁善感，有时候

记得中一的时候，慈济来我们学校给我们看那个“父母恩重难报经”

大家也是哭得稀里哗啦的

然后师姐就派给我们每一个人一张纸和信封

要我们每一个人写下想对妈妈说的话

然后放进信封里写上地址

她会帮我们把信寄出去

一开始很有感触地写

然后想也没有想的把信交上去了

之后的几天也忘了有这么一回事

怎么知道有一天…信真的寄来家里了

而且是我不在家的时候寄来的

害我连藏都来不及藏

结果那天补习回家

我妈竟然边看边笑

我的天 ==

有一种 “早知道就不要写了” 的感觉

说不定我妈那个时候其实很高兴？

其实很多人都不知道

我妈是我们家的金钱支柱

家里的开支都是妈妈在担

所以面对庞大的工作量

其实我妈是很辛苦的（啊当然不用说我爸也有在帮忙）

自从姐姐们都到外地工作读书后

家里也剩下我一个女儿了

家里的工作，也只好由我来负责分担了（苦 >__<）

所以

我其实很忙的！

不要以为1+很幸福，每天坐在家里翘脚上网facebook blogging

我也是很孝顺的咧 我有帮妈妈做工的咧

（呵呵呵 不要脸罢了）

当然比起以前我们现在的日子好过多了

我的日子也比较轻松的多

要应付功课也比较得心应手了

毕竟妈妈还是希望自己能够考好一点

以后能够找到一份好的工作

而不是像他们这样只能靠车衣服糊口

爸妈工作很辛苦，所以要孝顺

话说回来

明天就是MUET 的 Reading Listening Writing 了

中六生，are you ready ?

Gossip girl.

Maybe it's the symptom of watching too much GOSSIP GIRL.

I tend to gossip behind people too.

However.

Learn this. Never gossip bout your friends.

But you can learn to tell somebody something directly face to face.

Just like what i did today. To a person i used to hate of.

No back-stabbing.

At last i have made sure something finally.

About the black spot in my life that i've mention before.

And it wasn't that bad like i thought.

每个人都有一个不可告人的污点。

我要选择面对。不是猜疑。

更不能逃避。

I've broke the precious integrity of friendship.

Sorry my friend.

Can't help falling in love.

最近1+无法自拔的爱上一本书甚至一首歌，

远远超过爱一个人？

哪有这么博爱，实在太超过了。

但我真的很爱的说，没有骗的啦。

爱上Owl City的The Saltwater Room.

（懒惰PO，要借我的MP4去听吗？ q^o^p ）

真的很爱。每一天听，听了几个月还是那么爱。

我的天。我想我是差不多疯了。

Owl City 的周边商品。炫耶。

再来1+又爱上一本书。

The Shadow Of The Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon.

用一个礼拜就读完的小说。很长，很好看，很爱。

爱到我舍不得还给人家。

看到结局了还要在家翻个三四天回温一下，才甘愿还。

我觉得自己真的有病，不过真的太喜欢了。

我爱我的生活。我爱我的狗。

爱我的家人。

我享受。我开心。

舍不得分享。自私 ><"

幸福指数每天爆满。

啊，能每一天都这样就好了。

每天开开心心的。好好。X)

Today's HER big day.

Well, i forgot since when i haven't seen her anymore but i knew she's living well.

Remember the day we spent together in school.

A nice girl and a nice friend.

Young, wild, full of enthusiasm of life, yet mysterious, but cute and funny.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSIE. =]

We're growing up soo soon and growing old sooo quick.

And when i search back the photo of me and you. I have only this left in the new pc...

WALAO EH I LOOK SO TAMBAI. ><

However, miss u girl.

Take care. =]

我的ALPHA“死伯”帅

我的sweet connection终于回来了

不能上网的时间里没有部落格宣泄

实在不是滋味

然而我的“下”中六生活不知不觉，只剩下两个礼拜多就要结束了

时间过的咻咻咻，好快

一眨眼大考结束了

当老师要我们检查成绩时才发现

那5个科目的分数排在一起时实在不好看

只好按着良心蒙一下的，快快签掉那张不想再看下去的成绩

快快把成绩单传给下一个人

签掉成绩的同时 签掉过去

至少不想在重蹈覆辙

年终假期对我们这些“下”中六来说没有轻松

反而出奇的紧张紧凑刺激并让人喘不过气

补习老师紧紧安排的补习时间，让我们全身的神经也紧紧的绷了起来

没有放松的假期

到时如果回到校园，正如陈老师所言的，在同学里发现有人出现 “异常征兆”

( Tan Chin Ee所言异常征兆如：

自言自语；

常常跑厕所却不是大小便而是照镜子；

常常找借口跑出课室消失个无影无踪；

水瓶的水还没喝完就跑出课室装水；之类等等 )

也不是不可能的事

但不懂为什么当Cikgu在前面讲的时候，我总觉得他是在吓唬我们

看不到他的隐喻？

我觉得他心里应该是想告诉我们：“其实我是想劝你们要专心一点上课，尤其是我的课！！！”

尽管如此，陈老师所言甚是，

大家还是小心为矣，免得上不了大学，反而进了疯人院。

注：我们最敬爱的Cikgu Tan Chin Ee，

是一个喜欢用Cikgu来称呼自己却用华语教学的老师

我常觉得老师群之中有一部分是怪胎+天才的结晶品（因为他们怪起来却又很聪明），

Cikgu Tan如果不是怪胎中的怪胎，想必也是一个天才中的天才

啊，没有放松的假期虽然难熬

不过有Alpha在的日子，我绝不孤单

I ♥ ALPHA =]

Drowsy head.

I hope i can drive. They just wouldn't let me.

Haihs.

Inhibit my moves only.

My connection is slow and i only can log in to blogger.com i wonder why ~

so frustrated.

I have no motor with me but only a broken bike.

I hardly can move out from taman kota permai.

And i feel like myself losing connection with the outer world ad.

I need a boyfriend with car thankiew.

So that i can urge him to drive me anywhere i want muahahaha.

Yea i knew i have bad intention but so what.

You have no idea how desperately a bird wanna fly.

For a almost 18 years old girl like me. Nearly an adult.

I feel nothing like a grown up people.

As if i was doomed to end up my life in this house.

Haihs

Forgive my behaviour of having immature thinking.

But you just have no idea how desperately a bird wanna fly.

我想一个人

我很顽固 也很倔强 或许。

所以我很多时候都不懂得怎么道歉。真的。

我不习惯配合。讨厌妥协。

我想要一个人的时候没有办法一个人。

想要人陪的时候偏偏一个人。

造化弄人。

我知道。你只是希望我能够对现状满足。

如果可以。我也希望。

我的脑袋里全都是挣扎。

当挣扎没有一个结果。

最好的就是。放弃吧。

所以我放弃了。放弃了好多东西。

我不甘愿。我怨恨。我发脾气。我扔东西。

那又怎样呢。

有些事情改变不了就是改变不了。

造成的缺。补不了。就不要太逞强了。

一个人。这样最好。

L-O-V-E just another word i never learn to pronounce.

I guess, Alpha is daydream bout catching a mouse.

With his hand right up.

Well.. Isn't he a dog .. =="

Today's lessons.

Ya i came back to blog again so u can see that my gastric has finally get better now.

Arggggh. Scare of oily food again. You cant blame me for being skinny kay, now you know it's not my fault. Not I don't want eat lerh. It's the stomach not allow me to eat. Shhiit. Hate it.

Today's very first lesson: DONT TALK TOO LOUD WITH LANGUAGE YOU'RE NOT GOOD IN.

argh, here my elaboration begin. We used to talk and laugh at behind the class and they usually talk loud until the whole class can hear their voice. Then suddenly tze hoay mention smth funny related with 榴莲公主. All the conversation are in hokkien. HOKKIEN, i know how to listen but hardly can pronounce a word. Just when i want to tell that nowadays kids dont obsessed with 榴莲公主 anymore but 哥妹俩, i was like " WA EH JI AR .. WA EH JI AR ... er.. 她买了哥妹俩的书签回来然后…" Whoa. After that suddenly all people around me start giggling ad.

Embarrassing. ><

I dont know how to speak Hokkien la, not even Teochew. Just that it's weird when all the people are talking hokkien but u came out nowhere with mandarin.

LMAO anyway. XD

2nd lesson: (for girls) DON'T EVER WEAR COLORFUL BRA TO SCHOOL IF NOT SOMEBODY WILL ALWAYS HAVE EYES ON YOU...AHwOOOO~

I don't want to mention about this anymore. Too funny to talk about and i was like goin to laugh out all the organs inside my body.

As i told the girls, sitting in B2 and listen to those conversations are much interesting and funny than u can find from the entertainment show on TV. The joyness just never end. XD

Mood currently: 100% good.

Alpha loves photo shooting.

Will not blog recently until.. My gastric get better. Haihs.

Alpha knows to pose. Trust me.

With his butterflies ears ==" Are u real labrador.

One evening @ Gurney Drive.

Bro said...

"Why they have to throw the rubbish into sea? You see.. No water already. =( "

Dear. It's something we called ebb tide. But it's true not to litter at the seaside.